One of those busy days when by the end, you don’t have the energy to vacuum as planned, so you throw on your eatin’ dress and drag yourself around the house instead.  #cleaning #selflove #fitness

--Twitter, November 29, 2021

 

 Blogger's note: The tweet was accompanied by a video demonstrating this floor cleaning technique. 

I may putt by. Does anyone need a cart driver? I can’t guarantee they’ll make it to the right place, but I’ll sure try for an eagle.

--Twitter, August 6, 2022

(after being invited by the BMW (Golf) Championship to come to the event)

There's something in this performance that makes me feel like I got hit by a bag of baggage claims somewhere and woke up in one of the most magnificent places, and it's like...How?...Where am I?!

--Peacock (streaming service), Eurovision 2022, Semifinal 1, May 10, 2022

(on Norway's entry, "Give That Wolf a Banana" sung by Subwoolfer)

If you don't hear from me it's because I don't know how to work the walkie-talkie and not that some demonic thing has killed me. 

--Travel Channel, Ghost Hunters, "Bound By Blood," Season 15, ep. 2, October 9, 2022 

(after volunteering to stay, alone, in a supposedly haunted basement)

Sometimes the most heartwarming part of hosting anything, when you know lots of people are watching you, is when you can be a complete cheese doodle like Mika saying that an alarm clock is somebody's sound of beauty. 

--Peacock (streaming service), Eurovision 2022, Semifinal 2, May 12, 2022

(after Eurovision's co-host Mika included an "alarm going off in the morning" in his list of sounds someone might find beautiful)

Efendi competed for Azerbaijan last year and she performed a song called “Mata Hari,” and it was just full black fishnet sparkle. Something that I would wear on the ice.

--Instinct Magazine, "Johnny Weir Hosts Peacock Stream of 2022 Eurovision," Denny Patterson, May 10, 2022

(on Eurovision 2021)

I've got one thing to mention before anything else--beards. Guys, if you've got a beard out there, make sure you throw as many flowers and stems in it as possible because you get the wiggly effect and everyone loves it.

--Peacock (streaming service), Eurovision 2022, Semifinal 2, May 12, 2022

(approving of the decorated beard of a member of Georgia's entry Circus Mercus)

Who knew that the banana's not only great for potassium and cramps, but could also save your grandmother from an imminent wolf attack?

--Peacock (streaming service), Eurovision 2022, Semifinal 1, May 10, 2022

(on the lyrics to Norway's entry, "Give That Wolf a Banana" sung by Subwoolfer)

My mom went out shopping today.--Hi, Mom!--She's for sure going to see this.--She went out shopping today, and she bought me what I can only call a light oatmeal pair of biker shorts. And reading between the family lines I think she's frustrated that I'm still single.

--Twitter, video, May 5, 2022

This is where a case can be made for muscle memory. If your chunky booty has done something once, it'll remember to do it again even if your eyes are like a whirligig.

--Instagram, video, May 2, 2022

(after Johnny skated while experiencing vertigo)

On Friday I had a very severe attack of vertigo...If you've not had it, it's kinda like being on a cruise ship in a hurricane and also Sharknado at the same time.

--Instagram, video, May 2, 2022

Her technique is not solid. You can see that her [elbows] are pointing out that way like a sprinkler.
--USA (TV channel), women's free skate, 2022 Olympics, February 17, 2022

(on Estonian skater Eva-Lotta Kiibus' jumping technique in which her elbows point away from her body)

Yuma's skating to me is just a champagne bubble of happiness. Just bubbly and perky and oh so perfect and crisp and clean.

--USA (channel), men's short program, 2022 World Championship, broadcast March 24, 2022

(on Japanese skater Yuma Kagiyama)

At that point in my diet when I’d buy tickets to sit next to someone and watch them eat pizza.

--Twitter, April 16, 2022 

There is an infinite amount of love in this world to obliterate the negativity that surrounds us all every day. Stay true to yourselves and step boldly into that love if you feel yourself crumbling into the muck around you.
--Twitter, April 1, 2022

That was such a beautiful dance. It was a treasure trove of goodies. It's like getting that present but still saving the wrapping paper on it.

--USA (channel), free dance, 2022 World Figure Skating Championship, broadcast March 26, 2022
(on the free dance of Canadian couple Piper Gilles and Paul Poirier)

There's a lot of talk in skating about the quality of your knee-bend. And you want a texture kind of like a marshmallow dream. Right--go with me Tara--just that soft and squishy, a little bit bouncy. That's an ideal knee; you don't want whipped cream. That'll melt in the sun.

--NBC, during men's short program, 2022 Olympics, February 7, 2022
(about landing after a jump) 

On clear nights, before bed, I take a second to go out back and look at the stars and breathe a minute. There’s been this bunny around though for about a year, he’s the size of a small pony, and he stares me down. Do I give him a name & salad or get frightened? Goodnight!

--Twitter, March 22, 2022 

It's almost like they skate as if they're afraid they're going to hurt the ice.

--NBC, team free dance, 2022 Olympics, February 6, 2022
(commenting approvingly of Canadian free dance couple Piper Gilles and Paul Poirier's soft and quiet stroking technique)

That was so wrong for a free dance. It was like they were running from a very slow monster the whole way through.

--USA (TV channel), free dance, 2022 Olympics, February 13, 2022

(on the horror film inspired free dance of Georgia skaters' Maria Kazakova and Georgy Reviya)

Anyone else at that point in their spring diet where you prepare arugula with lemon juice yet you close your eyes and pretend it’s a fresh scone with clotted cream and apricot preserves? 

--Twitter, April 20, 2021 

She does have a habit of really slowing down before the jumps which hurts the quality of those. It would be like running to the end of the diving board and stopping and be like "oh, let's go in by the ladder."

--USA (TV channel), women's short program, 2022 Olympics, February 15, 2022

(on Swiss skater Alexia Paganini)

If the ice dancing world were a high school, this would be the drama club.

--USA (TV channel), rhythm dance, 2022 Olympics, February 12, 2022

(on British ice dancers Lilah Fear and Lewis Gibson's passion for entertaining) 

Her arms are her primary means of communicating with the judges and her audience. They're always right in front of her like she's working at a desk. She needs full-on swivel chair moments.

--USA (TV station), women's short program, 2022 Olympics, February 15, 2022

(on Azerbaijani figure skater Yekaterina Ryabova) 

[Terry Gannon: [They] teamed up all the way back in 2004. When she was 7 and he was 9 years of age. They're the only partners they've ever had on the ice.]

Like penguins, Terrance.

--USA (TV channel), rhythm dance, 2022 Olympics, February 12, 2022

(on Ukrainian ice dancers Oleksandra Nazarova and Maksym Nikitin)