To Billy Bush:

How could you go to get your ass waxed without me by the way?...I have experience. I could have gotten you through it.
--NBC, Access Hollywood, August 11, 2016
(While fishing with Billy Bush during the Rio Olympics.)

Johnny got his butt waxed during Season 2, Ep. 5 of his TV show Be Good Johnny Weir. If you missed the hilarious quotes from that episode, or would just like to enjoy them again, here are the links:

The reason for his butt waxing 

Johnny's instructions to his waxer 

What Johnny yells while getting his butt waxed 

Johnny describes how his butt feels

Johnny's complaint to his waxer

And then another sensitive body part hurts

Johnny claims he's injured

A post-waxing reflective thought
 

And then there's this post-waxing quote from his "Johnny's World" column in the Falls Church News-Press.

While being loud and forceful may seem like the right move in acceptance, I believe in quiet normalcy and drawing attention by merits, not by yelling.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: The Gaylympics: Part 3" August 8, 2013
(on LGBT rights) 

I can tell you as someone who’s been embarrassed in front of millions of people all at one time, it’s just as hard to deal with that pain with those billions as it is with just one onlooker. There is no difference.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: One in a Million" June 5, 2014

In my life, and especially my work life, there is constant opportunity to make a fool of myself, understanding that fact is how I am able to carry on without really caring much of what anyone thinks of me.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: One in a Million" June 5, 2014

Whether one person knows your secrets and looks at you with those glazed over, self preserving stares, or a million people take to micro blogs and start scrutinizing over your botched bikini wax, the pain is just the same.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: One in a Million" June 5, 2014

Life is full of humiliation, secrets and embarrassments, so why not deal with them head on and get rid of them?
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: One in a Million" June 5, 2014

There are times when we all fall victim to self loathing and the “woe is me” attitude, however it’s in those moments that we all must realize that the thing tearing you up today will seem like a piece of dust on your lifetime achievement reel. 
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: One in a Million" June 5, 2014

My name is Johnny Weir. I have succeeded many times but I am just as proud of many of my great failures. I failed to win a medal at the Olympics, but I went twice and skated the performances of my lifetime. I failed to have a successful first marriage, but I allowed myself to love. I have naked photos on the Internet, but my body is nothing to be ashamed of.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: One in a Million" June 5, 2014

Trust no one with your secrets, they are yours alone and you can accessorize them any way you choose.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: One in a Million" June 5, 2014

The moment we start owning our mistakes and finding that silver lining is the moment we move forward. 
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: One in a Million" June 5, 2014

As a tactic, I like to bring up uncomfortable things right away, just so we can move on. For the rest of that workday I simply started conversations with people saying, “So hey, did you see my ass this morning?” This of course got a wide-eyed, unsure reaction, “Yeah.”

“Oh thank God, I was looking for it everywhere.”
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: One in a Million" June 5, 2014
(on how he dealt with people the day nude photos of him were leaked to tabloids)

While I am not old, part of being a champion is knowing when your time is up.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: The Ice" October 23, 2013

I wish for everyone in this world to have even one moment of finding their bliss and chasing after it at all costs and I pray that you are lucky enough to even have two of those moments, because they are fleeting and sometimes unappreciated.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: The Ice" October 23, 2013

I wish you all health, love, and abounding success in the New Year.

I also wish for a simpler dance craze: think “Macarena 2014.”
---fcnp.com, "Johnny’s World: A Year in Review," January 2, 2014

There is nothing more exhausting than fighting for your right to speak freely, especially when your opinions are considered poisonous. The take-away here is that a man is nothing without conviction, and to have the ability to be free he must constantly be at war either with himself or the masses. 
---fcnp.com, "Johnny’s World: A Year in Review," January 2, 2014 

[U]nder duress, I idiotically called a group of people standing in the cold “idiots.” While my statement was wrong and I immediately apologized publicly via my column in the Falls Church News-Press, it didn’t stop the people who’d already turned on me from recruiting new people to turn on me. All of a sudden I became a Russian spy--a traitor to America, gay people as a whole, and possibly Britney Spears. 
---fcnp.com, "Johnny’s World: A Year in Review," January 2, 2014  
(about the aftermath of his speech at Barnard College on December 1, 2013, which ended with a Q and A in which he called people protesting his speech because he opposes a boycott of a Sochi Olympics, "idiots.")

I am equal parts Weir and Voronov now, and proudly so.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny’s World: Привет: Part 3," April 25, 2013  

Something I’ve learned, especially in the past months, is that the only way you can be bullied is to allow yourself to be bullied, so I say fight on, fight the problem, not just those who oppose you.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: Anna Chapman" December 19, 2013 

In any event, the speech finished, I left feeling awful and my only solace was in a half eaten carton of Breyers, freezer burned to death in the back of my freezer.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: Foot in Mouth" December 3, 2013
(about the aftermath of his speech at Barnard College on December 1, 2013, which ended with a Q and A in which he called people protesting his speech because he opposes a boycott of a Sochi Olympics, "idiots.")

People will find their own paths, they will differ from mine, and I need to show them the grace that I’ve been granted in my own discovery. 
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: Foot in Mouth" December 3, 2013, 2013