Whether witty or wise, controversial or charming, shocking or silly, sweet or sassy, provocative or profound, inspiring or infuriating--or any combination of those--Johnny Weir, the three-time U.S. Champion, two-time Olympian, and World medalist figure skater, almost always says something worth quoting whenever he commentates a skating competition, makes a TV appearance, gives an interview, holds a press conference, writes, tweets, or is caught on video. His quotes needed to be collected and shared; hence this blog.
--NBC, Skating Spectacular, U. S. Nationals, January 28, 2024
(on the unusual spins at the end of the skating program of pair skaters Isabelle Martins and Ryan Bedard)
Saturday, February 10, 2024
I have seen public skaters with more emotion and performance ability. There's no connection at all to her music. You could put anything on--it could be a hoedown or a polka--and she would probably still perform the exact same way as she is with this piece.
--E! channel, women's free dance, Four Continents Championships, February 2, 2024
(on South Korean skater Seoyeong Wi's free skate)
Friday, February 2, 2024
The music reminds me of something you might hear in a gift shop at some kind of cabin resort. --NBC, free dance, U.S. Nationals, January 27, 2024
(on music chosen by U. S. dance team Caroline Green and Michael Parsons)
Wednesday, January 31, 2024
So next time you're watching a performance, just think about the fact that this skinny tiny little blade not only will hold 800 pounds of force when you come down on a quadruple triple jump, but it also holds every bit of work and every dream these skaters have ever dreamt in the balance. --USA channel, pairs short, U.S. Nationals, January 25, 2024
(talking about figure skating blades after pairs short program)
Sunday, March 19, 2023
It's sorta like when you're young and you say, "Hey mom, look, no hands!" when you're riding your bike. It's that kind of difficulty added to a skating jump. --USA channel, men's short, 4 Continents Championship, February 10, 2023
(on jumps with arms overhead rather than tight against the skater's chest)
Monday, February 27, 2023
[T]here are things that have looked better than others. And I will say there was one. It was a patent leather, puffy sort of straitjacket thing that I bought in Japan that I wore on television but the armholes were so low because of just the uniqueness of the garment that I couldn’t really get the microphone to my mouth. That made it difficult to work and I looked a little bit crazy like I was wearing a big puffy trash bag.
--Queerty, "Johnny Weir on playing himself on 'Night Court,' his wild fashions, and being told to "butch" it up," Johnny Lopez, February 21, 2023 (on his fashion choices over the years)
Wednesday, February 22, 2023
The whole world is watching [to see if Ilia Malinin does a quad axel in the free skate]. It's very different from when Tara and I skated when you had to get news about your closest rivals by a carrier pigeon. Everyone sees everything.
--USA channel, women's short, U. S. Nationals, January 26, 2023
Tuesday, February 21, 2023
[On camera: Johnny visibly trying to suppress laugh]
[Terry Gannon: You alright?]
He's just so cute! [laughing out loud] Sorry. It's like a duckling.
--USA channel, men's short, U.S. Nationals, January 27, 2023
(after skater Ilia Malinin is interviewed by Andrea Joyce)
Monday, February 20, 2023
There's just something about his skating that really blows my skirt up.
--NBC, men's free skate, U.S. Nationals, January 29, 2023
(after skater Yaroslav Paniot's Elvis Presley program)
Saturday, February 18, 2023
Matteo has wonderful, pleasant skating that everyone can enjoy, much like a snickerdoodle cookie. --USA (channel), men's free skate, 2022 World Championship, broadcast March 26, 2022
(on Italian skater Matteo Rizzo)
Friday, February 17, 2023
Many people will skate to the Tango de Roxanne from Moulin Rouge and just go full-on crazy pants when that last piece comes on. Hair flying around, wild eyes.
--USA channel, Four Continents Championships, women's short, February 9, 2023
(comparing other skaters' performances of that music to Japan's Rinka Watanabe's "subtle and chic skating.")
Wednesday, February 15, 2023
That thing when you catch your dad yelling at the commentator on tv and YOU are the commentator on tv.
--Twitter, March 26, 2022
Monday, February 13, 2023
It's almost like you get more points for hiccupping at center ice than you do getting a single jump.
--E! channel, women's free skate, Skate America, October 23, 2022
(after Korean skater Yeoh-jeong Park pulled out of a jump rotation and only earned 0.38 points)
Sunday, February 12, 2023
It's really just me, and my hairspray, and prayer that are going to get me out of this one alive.
--CW channel, Criss Angel's Magic with the Stars, "Upside Down Straight Jacket," Season 1, Ep. 9, February 3, 2023
(before performing a magic trick in which he hangs upside down from his ankles far above the audience while wearing a straight jacket)
Wednesday, February 1, 2023
Tara and I tried out for [America's Got Talent: All Stars] you know.
[Terry Gannon: And you didn't make it?]
We hard boiled eggs and apparently everyone can do it.
[Terry Gannon: How dare they, the judges. They're worse than in figure skating.]
--USA Channel, pairs free skate, U.S. Nationals, January 28, 2023
(following a promo for America's Got Talent: All Stars)
Monday, January 30, 2023
I think the Inland [Forecast] is very important because it's farthest from the sharks.
[Tara Lipinski: Johnny hates sharks.]
I hate sharks and I know they're up here in that Bay.
--nbcbayarea.com, "Johnny Weir, Tara Lipinski Do the Weather," January 25, 2023
(when Johnny and Tara did the weather forecast for the San Francisco Bay area)
Sunday, January 29, 2023
She's choreographed within an inch of her glamor.
--USA Channel, women's short program, U. S. Nationals, January 26, 2023
(on one of the reasons skater Isabeau Levito's programs are so successful)
Saturday, January 28, 2023
If you're not nervous about something then you must not care about it very much so it's best to be nervous.
--USA Channel, 2023 U.S. Nationals, January 26, 2023
(about pre-skate nerves)
Sunday, January 22, 2023
Now I know what it is to be one of those sports fans that like to cheer and bump bellies in bars. I just wanted to hug you and like slap your hand.
--USA Channel, Skate America, men's free skate, October 22, 2022
(to Tara Lipinski after they'd witnessed U. S. skater Ilia Malinin complete a previously unimaginable quad axle)
Tuesday, October 18, 2022
There's something in this performance that makes me feel like I got hit by a bag of baggage claims somewhere and woke up in one of the most magnificent places, and it's like...How?...Where am I?!
--Peacock (streaming service), Eurovision 2022, Semifinal 1, May 10, 2022
(on Norway's entry, "Give That Wolf a Banana" sung by Subwoolfer)