Johnny Weir

Whether witty or wise, controversial or charming, shocking or silly, sweet or sassy, provocative or profound, inspiring or infuriating--or any combination of those--Johnny Weir, the three-time U.S. Champion, two-time Olympian, and World medalist figure skater, almost always says something worth quoting whenever he commentates a skating competition, makes a TV appearance, gives an interview, holds a press conference, writes, tweets, or is caught on video. His quotes needed to be collected and shared; hence this blog.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

When we come back, we're going to have Ross Perot, Kanye West, and Shamu join us to talk about the upcoming vote.
--Tara and Johnny podcast, Ep. 18: The evolution of #MommyHatesIt, November 9, 2016

Friday, November 25, 2016

If I'm not high off bathroom cleaning product fumes, it ain't Thanksgiving.
--Twitter. November 24, 2016

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

There wasn't like a lick of a rhinestone there. There was no music.
--Tara and Johnny podcast, Ep. 18: The evolution of #MommyHatesIt, November 9, 2016
(after the scheduled NBCSN broadcast of Grand Prix Russia was preempted by NASCAR racing)

Monday, November 21, 2016

You line up with your team like four hours early, and you're in a holding pattern, so if you haven't peed or prepared yourself properly, you're going to hold it for a really long time.
 --Facebook Live video, August 5, 2016
(advice for Olympic athletics on preparing for the Opening Ceremonies)

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Nipples to Jesus.
--olympicchannel.com, "Take the Mic: Johnny Weir," November 3, 2016
(describing the final pose of his long program in the 2010 Olympics)
I love the idea of diving. Although when I jump into a pool, I have to hold my nose. Also, I'm terrified of water. But I can see myself as a diver--they're hot.
--Facebook Live video, August 5, 2016
(on what summer Olympic sport he'd like to compete in)

Saturday, November 19, 2016

I want to be a Game of Thrones Dothraki by the time I'm done.
--nbcolympics.com, "Tara and Johnny learn how to fence in Rio," video, August 15, 2016
(his fencing lesson goal)

Blogger's note: The Dothraki are a fictional, fierce race of nomadic warriors.
I would also really like a Mongolian Olympics. I think that could be fun. Everyone stays in a yurt village.
--Facebook Live video, August 5, 2016

Friday, November 18, 2016

He doesn't like sweaters or clothes. But he does bring his potted plants in off the patio.
--news3lv.com, video, "Always entertaining Johnny Weir set to host 15th annual National Dog Show," November 17, 2016
(how his Japanese Chin Tёma prepares for colder weather)
Bringing companion animals to the ice and competing at the Olympic level goes back generations. I'm happy to see it finally shown during the Grand Prix.
--Twitter, NBCOlympics, commenting a video clip from the 2016 French Grand Prix showing a pigeon flying near Russian skater Alena Leonova during her free program.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

A medal or not, he's the peoples' princess.
--olympicchannel.com, "Take the Mic: Johnny Weir," November 3, 2016
(commentating the final moments of his long program performance in the 2010 Olympics)

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

I enjoy seeing what kind of shade the handlers throw at each other. I know there is a competition for the shortest ankle-length skirt among the female handlers and maybe a couple of the male handlers as well.
--nbcphiladelphia.com, "Johnny and Tara Agree: Their Dogs are The Best," November 12, 2016
(about what happens in the backstage area at The National Dog Show)

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

New low: Just found a listerine strip in my weave as I was de-weaving. Enjoy.
--Twitter, November 13, 2016

Sunday, October 2, 2016

We never really know what we're doing, but we're definitely going to show up and show off our clothes.
--Facebook, NBC Olympics, live video, August 5, 2016
(explaining what he and Tara Lipinski do when NBC sends them to cover non-figure skating events like the Rio Olympics and the Kentucky Derby)

Sunday, August 28, 2016

To Billy Bush:

How could you go to get your ass waxed without me by the way?...I have experience. I could have gotten you through it.
--NBC, Access Hollywood, August 11, 2016
(While fishing with Billy Bush during the Rio Olympics.)


Johnny got his butt waxed during Season 2, Ep. 5 of his TV show Be Good Johnny Weir. If you missed the hilarious quotes from that episode, or would just like to enjoy them again, here are the links:

The reason for his butt waxing 

Johnny's instructions to his waxer 

What Johnny yells while getting his butt waxed 

Johnny describes how his butt feels

Johnny's complaint to his waxer

And then another sensitive body part hurts

Johnny claims he's injured

A post-waxing reflective thought
 

And then there's this post-waxing quote from his "Johnny's World" column in the Falls Church News-Press.