Johnny Weir

Whether witty or wise, controversial or charming, shocking or silly, sweet or sassy, provocative or profound, inspiring or infuriating--or any combination of those--Johnny Weir, the three-time U.S. Champion, two-time Olympian, and World medalist figure skater, almost always says something worth quoting whenever he commentates a skating competition, makes a TV appearance, gives an interview, holds a press conference, writes, tweets, or is caught on video. His quotes needed to be collected and shared; hence this blog.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Tara and I unfortunately are afraid to watch [short track speed skating] live. That's a lot of flying blades and sliding falls. And, you know, blades straight to the face. It's not something I'm really into. We're into sparkles and wardrobe malfunctions, not a violent blade.
--NBC, chat with Mike Tirico on Prime Plus Show, 2018 Olympics, February 18, 2018
("wardrobe malfunctions" refers to French ice dancer Gabriella Papadakis' costume becoming unfastened shortly after her program with partner Guillaume Cizeron began, exposing her breast at one point during their performance)

Sunday, February 18, 2018

I speak English; I don't speak Gayenese.
--Tara and Johnny podcast, Ep. 65: "Preparing for the Olympics," February 1, 2018
(on feeling irritated when scriptwriters prepare dialogue for him that's stereotypically gay)

Saturday, February 17, 2018

I’m a commentator, not a “complimentator.” Explaining falls and rough skates is hard because I have been that skater, and truth can hurt. But I would never be able to do my job without telling the truth about every aspect of figure skating and the performances you’ll see.
--Twitter, February 10, 2018

Friday, February 16, 2018

Choreographically, he reminds me a bit of a puppy: there's something delicate and sweet with a dash of clumsy to his choreography.
--NBCSN, men's short program, 2018 Olympics, February 15, 2018
(on Australian skater Brendan Kerry)
Yuzuru Hanyu's performance there reminds me, if there were angels in a really cold environment and they breathed, that's what angels' breath would look like.
--NBC, commenting after the men's short program, 2018 Olympics, February 15, 2018

Thursday, February 15, 2018

He's not Romeo; he's just kinda like "that guy."
--MSNBC, pairs free skate, 2018 Olympics, February 14, 2018
(on German pairs skater Ruben Blommaert not relating to his partner's Juliet character)

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

I have never felt bad about anything I’ve said for the most part, simply because when you tell the truth, while it may not always be the prettiest truth in the whole world, you don’t have anything to regret.
-washingtonpost.com, "Tara Lipinski and Johnny Weir aren't mean, but 'truth can be hard to hear'" by Tik Root, February 13, 2018

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

You can't really challenge a gay dude when it comes to lip syncing.
--Paramount Network, Lip Sync Battle, February 8, 2018
I’d have to jazz up the costume a little bit, but I definitely think I’d be a very, very adept ski jumper.
--wdtn.com,"Catching up with Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski" video interview by Aaron Nolan, February 10, 2018

Monday, February 12, 2018

It was a rough go, but ice is slippery.
--wdtn.com,"Catching up with Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski" video interview by Aaron Nolan, February 10, 2018
(on Nathan Chen's men's short program during the 2018 Olympic team skating event)
Looking at the ladies free skate: 130 to 140 is good; 140 plus is a great score; and basically 150 plus is Russian.
--NBC, Team Figure Skating, ladies free skate, 2018 Olympics, February 11, 2018

Saturday, February 10, 2018

[Terry Gannon: Can you imagine being out there competing at the age of 33 in the Olympics?]

He's my age, so no! I just wear sparkly blazers.
--NBC, Team Figure Skating, pairs short program, 2018 Olympics, February 8, 2018
(on Chinese pairs skater Zhang Hao)

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Buying myself new underwear for Hanukkah. It’s time.
--Twitter, December 11, 2017

My new underpants are arriving today so, it’s gonna get pretty stellar around here. 
--Twitter, December 15, 2017

Thursday, January 11, 2018

You know how hard it is to find weird stuff to wear?
--WDIV TV (Detroit Channel 4), "Johnny Weir at America's Thanksgiving Parade in Detroit," video, November 24, 2017

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

The thing that she's having trouble with, it's almost like an archer like a Katniss Everdeen, with her bow and arrow, trying to shoot the arrow without pulling all the way back, and getting all of that tautness in the bow, and then just trying to, you know, shoot across the ocean or something. 
--NBC, Skate America, Ladies Free Skate, November 26, 2017
(on Karen Chen's jumping problems)
 

Blogger's note: Katniss Everdeen is the main character in the Hunger Games books and movies.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

He does the same run-through on a daily basis, clean and perfect, so it gives him the opportunity to interact with the judges, the audience, and to really give us that, you know, wild sassy pants unicorn that he's become this season.
--NBCSN, 2018 USFS Championship, Men's Free Skate, January 6, 2018
(on Adam Rippon)

Monday, January 8, 2018

I would just give him all the gold medals: the slalom, the bobsled, the luge, figure skating.
--NBCSN, 2018 USFS Championship, Men's Free Skate, January 6, 2018
(after Nathan Chen completed his free skate)

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Should Tom Brady be rewarded for trying to throw a Hail Mary pass and missing?
--NBC, 2017 Grand Prix of Figure Skating final, NBC broadcast, December 9, 2017
(on the current scoring system that encourages skaters to attempt difficult jumps, even if they fall)

Blogger's note: Tom Brady is an American football quarterback.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

It's Jerry Springer crossed with Xena Warrior Princess crossed with My Little Pony and everything else that could possibly be good in this world.
--Tara and Johnny podcast, Ep. 44: "Endless Summer Part 1," September 6, 2017
(describing the Game of Thrones Season 7 finale, "The Dragon and the Wolf")

Sunday, October 22, 2017

I went into a pharmacy specifically to stalk a hot dude who parked near me on a scooter. I purchased hand sanitizer & met no one. #reality 
--Twitter, May 15, 2017

Saturday, October 21, 2017

[T]he sun. It's almost like God is trying to say, "You're going to be happy right now," and I'm like, "Eff you, I don't want to be happy right now." So then it's just this constant fight between me and Jesus and the weather.
--Tara and Johnny podcast, Ep. 44: "Endless Summer Part 1," September 6, 2017
(on why he likes cloudy weather and gets depressed when it's sunny)

Friday, October 20, 2017

That thing when your dry cleaning team holds up one of your weird articles and asks, “Johnny, what is this?” “Oh that’s a skirt diaper.” 
--Twitter, October 10, 2017

Thursday, October 19, 2017

I don't want anyone to think that I sneeze, blow my nose, eat, go to the bathroom, nothing. I'm just a plate. I'm just a porcelain white plate in a good outfit that sits there and is stunning.
--Tara and Johnny podcast, Ep. 50: "The Dating Game of Thrones," October 28, 2017
(on making a first impression)

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

I want an Emmy really badly. I don't care what I have to do for it. I'll put scorpions in my pants at this point.
--Tara and Johnny podcast, Ep. 49: "Him Talk Slowly," October 5, 2017

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

I should start performing in mumus to save myself from considering peony petals as a sneaky dinner. #diet
--Twitter, May 16, 2017