Johnny Weir

Whether witty or wise, controversial or charming, shocking or silly, sweet or sassy, provocative or profound, inspiring or infuriating--or any combination of those--Johnny Weir, the three-time U.S. Champion, two-time Olympian, and World medalist figure skater, almost always says something worth quoting whenever he commentates a skating competition, makes a TV appearance, gives an interview, holds a press conference, writes, tweets, or is caught on video. His quotes needed to be collected and shared; hence this blog.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Buying myself new underwear for Hanukkah. It’s time.
--Twitter, December 11, 2017

My new underpants are arriving today so, it’s gonna get pretty stellar around here. 
--Twitter, December 15, 2017

Thursday, January 11, 2018

You know how hard it is to find weird stuff to wear?
--WDIV TV (Detroit Channel 4), "Johnny Weir at America's Thanksgiving Parade in Detroit," video, November 24, 2017

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

The thing that she's having trouble with, it's almost like an archer like a Katniss Everdeen, with her bow and arrow, trying to shoot the arrow without pulling all the way back, and getting all of that tautness in the bow, and then just trying to, you know, shoot across the ocean or something. 
--NBC, Skate America, Ladies Free Skate, November 26, 2017
(on Karen Chen's jumping problems)

Blogger's note: Katniss Everdeen is the main character in the Hunger Games books and movies.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

He does the same run-through on a daily basis, clean and perfect, so it gives him the opportunity to interact with the judges, the audience, and to really give us that, you know, wild sassy pants unicorn that he's become this season.
--NBCSN, 2018 USFS Championship, Men's Free Skate, January 6, 2018
(on Adam Rippon)

Monday, January 8, 2018

I would just give him all the gold medals: the slalom, the bobsled, the luge, figure skating.
--NBCSN, 2018 USFS Championship, Men's Free Skate, January 6, 2018
(after Nathan Chen completed his free skate)

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Should Tom Brady be rewarded for trying to throw a Hail Mary pass and missing?
--NBC, 2017 Grand Prix of Figure Skating final, NBC broadcast, December 9, 2017
(on the current scoring system that encourages skaters to attempt difficult jumps, even if they fall)

Blogger's note: Tom Brady is an American football quarterback.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

It's Jerry Springer crossed with Xena Warrior Princess crossed with My Little Pony and everything else that could possibly be good in this world.
--Tara and Johnny podcast, Ep. 44: "Endless Summer Part 1," September 6, 2017
(describing the Game of Thrones Season 7 finale, "The Dragon and the Wolf")

Sunday, October 22, 2017

I went into a pharmacy specifically to stalk a hot dude who parked near me on a scooter. I purchased hand sanitizer & met no one. #reality 
--Twitter, May 15, 2017

Saturday, October 21, 2017

[T]he sun. It's almost like God is trying to say, "You're going to be happy right now," and I'm like, "Eff you, I don't want to be happy right now." So then it's just this constant fight between me and Jesus and the weather.
--Tara and Johnny podcast, Ep. 44: "Endless Summer Part 1," September 6, 2017
(on why he likes cloudy weather and gets depressed when it's sunny)

Friday, October 20, 2017

That thing when your dry cleaning team holds up one of your weird articles and asks, “Johnny, what is this?” “Oh that’s a skirt diaper.” 
--Twitter, October 10, 2017

Thursday, October 19, 2017

I don't want anyone to think that I sneeze, blow my nose, eat, go to the bathroom, nothing. I'm just a plate. I'm just a porcelain white plate in a good outfit that sits there and is stunning.
--Tara and Johnny podcast, Ep. 50: "The Dating Game of Thrones," October 28, 2017
(on making a first impression)

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

I want an Emmy really badly. I don't care what I have to do for it. I'll put scorpions in my pants at this point.
--Tara and Johnny podcast, Ep. 49: "Him Talk Slowly," October 5, 2017

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

I should start performing in mumus to save myself from considering peony petals as a sneaky dinner. #diet
--Twitter, May 16, 2017

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

I'm not fashion forward, I'm fashion extra-forward., Fashion Behind the Games, Ep. 9: "Johnny Weir: Figure Skating's Force of Nature, video, September 19, 2017

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Squirrels are so bitchy in the morning.
--Twitter, September 1, 2017

Sunday, September 3, 2017

@NetflixLifee tweeted: Name a canceled show that isn't on Netflix that you'd like to see get picked up.

'Be Good Johnny Weir' is a good one. It's like 'The Hunger Games' and 'Black Swan' mixed with the Olympics and OCD.
--Twitter, August 31, 2017

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Q: What's your favorite sports team?

My favorite sports team is Rob Gronkowski.
--NBC, Hollywood Game Night, August 29, 2017

Blogger's note: Rob Gronkowski is the tight end for the NFL New England Patriots team.

Friday, September 1, 2017

I don’t have a lot of time for anything. I don’t have a personal life, I have very few friendly outings, I am constantly on an airplane and working. I’m very busy and Windex hotel rooms for fun., "Catching Up On 'Yuri!!! On Ice' With Figure Skater Johnny Weir" by Lauren Orsini, August 31, 2017

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

I could’ve signed with that first agency at 16 years old and completely whitewashed myself. But I would have been boring. I would have never had the career I’ve had. I stuck to my guns and we created this brand and my agency, they support me as a human being.…Being the absolute truest brand of myself has been the greatest career asset I’ve had., "Branding, marketing a complicated issue for out athletes," by by T.M. Philibin, August 24, 2017
(on not signing at age 16 with a sports marketing agency which would only represent him if he hid the fact that he was gay)

Monday, August 28, 2017

That thing of desperately wanting, no, NEEDING, some sort of McFlurry adjacent ice cream situation.
--Twitter, August 12, 2017

Friday, July 28, 2017

Well, there was Halloween candy at the grocery today. Feel like candy corn in July is a tad premature. Like, can't I go swimming first?
--Twitter, July 27, 2017

Thursday, July 27, 2017

That hilarious thing when your iPhoto does facial recognition for your "top people" & all 4 are you, just in different hair and makeup.
--Twitter, July 12, 2017

Monday, July 3, 2017

I was like mid extreme couponing for Nair and bananas, and I don't know what happened, but the next thing I knew, I was on a bus to Foxwoods in Connecticut, which is a casino.
--Tara and Johnny podcast, Ep 32: "Holding court at Maggiano's; Fire drills," April 5, 2017

Saturday, July 1, 2017

A long day ahead that would be better spent in bed or shopping for dragon clothes with the Khaleesi. Up and at 'em!
--Twitter, March 19, 2014 

Blogger's note: "Khaleesi" refers to the Game of Thrones character Daenerys Targaryen, also known as "Mother of Dragons."

Friday, June 30, 2017

If you're going to be in the public eye, not everyone is going to like you; if you think they are, you're dumb and you shouldn't be in it., "How Johnny and Tara Made It to the Summer Olympics" by B. David Zarley, July 21, 2016