She throws on her headphones and clicks through her iPod to the perfect song, a combination of ethereal voices and lingering synthesized violins. This song, while not on the charts right now, has been a sweet Prozac raindrop from a thundercloud of depression and has come to her rescue more times than not.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny’s World: Escape" June 27, 2013
(on a friend) 

I find that the average person thinks of gays either as fabulous, clever and well-dressed best friends, or pedophiles, club and drug addicts and/or the carriers of AIDS. That is quite a wide berth.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's Word: The Debate," March 28, 2013 

How many times have we seen the lovely commercials for mood-enhancing drugs that take place in a pasture featuring a woman in white silken jammies skipping gracefully, only to be warned a moment later that this pill can lead to anal leakage, loss of eyesight or sex drive and/or death? Do we buy the death or the fact that we, too, could be elegantly skipping through the Irish countryside? 
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's Word: Crap," March 21, 2013  

We train very hard for two hours before it’s time for my afternoon “nap time,” which should not include lunch, chewing of any kind, or extra curricular activities like dry-cleaning, vacuuming, shopping for things to chew, consuming alcohol, narcotics or smoking cigarettes.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: The Art of Relaxation," February 5, 2013
(on training with coach Galina Zmievskaya)

I'm an insomniac. Ambien is my best friend.
--New York magazine, "Here's Johnny" by Sarah Bernard, February 20, 2006

I love chatting with my future self at the drug store. Vintage woman, white plastic hoops, track suit and a sparkly baseball cap. #tipit
--Twitter, September 17, 2012

Blogger's note: Given the emoji that ended original tweet, "tipit" may refer to a phrase that's roughly equivalent to "bottoms up" when drinking or to the way to get the last drops of wine from a wine box.

I'm fine that I'm skating some cracked out queen...that serves tea. I'm fine with that. I am not fine with the harness and the hat. They terrify me.
--Logo, Be Good Johnny Weir, Season 2, Episode 4
(on the huge harness-supported hat that was part of his Mad Hatter costume in Alice on Ice)

It's hard to play a character and especially the Mad Hatter because he's bat-shit crazy. He's like Joan Rivers mixed with Yoda, and he's definitely on opiates of some kind.
--Logo, Be Good Johnny Weir, Season 2, Episode 4
(on playing the Mad Hatter in Alice on Ice)

So you need to see me in a photo in the book blowing lines off of Lindsay Lohan's ass?
--Logo, Be Good Johnny Weir, Season 2, Ep. 2
[after being told that Simon and Schuster is interested in publishing "salacious" books)

[Johnny, how are you preparing for the Olympics?]

Ambien and expresso.
--Welcome to My World, pre-2006 Olympics news conference, February 7, 2006

You know, I’ll talk about drugs. I’ll wear fur and have a scandal over fur. I seem to always find myself in a death trap and the name of the show is basically a play on that.
--vancouversun.com, "U.S. figure skater Johnny Weir is ready for his close-up," by Chantal Eustace, February 19, 2010
(on Be Good Johnny Weir)

Being bad is very important in life because you can't go through being fake and pleasing everyone and always having a smile on your face. I mean, nobody's like that unless you're on some kind of prescription.
--sundancechannel.com, "Johnny Weir: Behind the Scenes" (Ralston shoot) (clip 1)

I never regret anything I say. Whether it's about drugs, my family, myself, other people, if it's mean, or if it's too candy sweet, I stand by everything I say.
--kataniye.com/johnny_weir, Johnny Weir A Rising Star, Interviews from the 2006/2007 Season (Part 1)

["Ask the athlete" question from a fan: What was your first real celebratory meal?]

I haven't had a celebratory meal yet because as soon as I was done skating, I was ushered through a mix zone, and then, I had drug testing and had to pee in a cup, and I didn't fill it enough the first time, so I had to do a half doping test, and then I had to wait until I had to pee again so I filled the rest of the cup, and by the time I got home it was 12:30, and all I wanted to do was go to bed, so I didn't eat, but tonight I'll be having a beautiful celebratory dinner with my family. And, I think, I think I'm definitely in the mood for some kind of fried product. I haven't had fried products in a long time. So I'm looking forward to that.  
--NBC Olympics video, Vancouver 2010, "Olympic Fun," interview date February 19, 2010

To Eric Alt:

All that will happen is that I will shoot you up with chemical, put you in trance, and make you hibernate like beauty bear. And you will be finally cure from this. 
--(as Russian psychotherapist) Johnny Weir and Eric Alt Present Eric Alt-Carnivale (Final Cut) video, introduction to Carnivale: A Fashion Fantasy, October 9, 2011 

If a kid wants to try drugs, they'll do it whether Johnny Weir says it's good or bad.
--figureskatersonline.com/johnnyweir, Johnny Weir Online, "questions and answers," March 2006

Bring it Irene! I'm ready for you. Jugs of water, carrier pigeon, candles, wine, Ambien, gills, machete, Windex, and thighs for days. #DareU
--Twitter, August 26, 2011

So my manicure is great, BUT, I'm giving my nails a break from gel and I feel like quitting gel manicures is harder than quitting crack.
--Twitter, August 15, 2011

This Saturday morning airport business is for the birds. "No sir, I don't have metal shards in my underpants, or crack in my iPod case."
--Twitter, April 2, 2011

One second I'm talking about drugs and rhinestones and swan costumes and everyone hates it, and the next I'm wearing a horse, talking about masculinity and the merits of being pale, and of course, everyone hates it. It's hard to win in this world.
--figureskatersonline.com/johnnyweir, Johnny Weir Online, questions & answers, November 2006