My mom went out shopping today.--Hi, Mom!--She's for sure going to see this.--She went out shopping today, and she bought me what I can only call a light oatmeal pair of biker shorts. And reading between the family lines I think she's frustrated that I'm still single.

--Twitter, video, May 5, 2022

Boyfriend Application: Scrubs pots. Needs to moisturize elbows. Sings off key. Forgets lyrics.  

--Twitter, November 21, 2021


Amendments to boyfriend application: 1. Sings hymns from Sister Act 2, off key 2. Adores Windex 3. Is thankful he can laugh at himself. Happy Thanksgiving America!
--Twitter. November 25, 2021

 

Blogger's note: Tweets were accompanied by videos demonstrating all the above assets. 

Master bedroom: This is precisely where the magic doesn't happen.—I've been waiting my whole life to say that on Cribs.

There's no magic that happens in this room because nobody good enough has come along, honestly. Or that could handle this. (gesturing to his body)

--MTV Cribs, September 8, 2021

I'm terrified that there's some, like, demon wearing a nun's costume sitting on my shoulder at all times that kinda keeps men away from me.
--E! channel, Hollywood Medium with Tyler Henry, June 28, 2017

It isn’t just a gay sport. I mean, I believe me, I looked high and low for somebody else that would understand me, and there were very few choices. The...most of the guys are straight, and, you know, they like beer, not champagne, and they like...they like boobs. And it’s weird for me, because part of the allure of figure skating was the, you know, gay men that I'd heard about my whole time growing up, but, you know, it’s kind of a disappointment...
--OutQ SiriusXM, StandUP! with Pete Dominick, October 22, 2014

I have lived my life to be Johnny Weir. I haven’t lived my life to be a letter in an acronym. I work very hard as an athlete, as a person, as a loved one, and that’s what life is about. It isn’t about adhering to something that you’re supposed to adhere to.
--OutQ SiriusXM, StandUP! with Pete Dominick, October 22, 2014
(on how much being gay is part of his identity)

I am in a really, really solid relationship with my luggage. That is kind of what we’re talking about here, but I think you’re envisioning kind of leather diapers and feathery headdresses, and it’s not that. I just want you to, you know, erase that from your mind. 
--OutQ SiriusXM, StandUP! with Pete Dominick, October 22, 2014

I never, for once in my competitive career was skating in the middle of a performance thinking about my boyfriend, or the fact that I was gay, or pride parades. I was thinking about landing my jumps and winning medals.
--advocate.com, "The Moment Johnny Weir Cried in Sochi" by Annie Hollenbeck, November 13, 2014

Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight, someone's thinking of me and loving me, tonight. Too bad my Fievel is a royal douche.
--Twitter, July 20, 2014

I'm as normal as anybody that I know. My relationship is as strong and as healthy as anybody that I know. And I live a life of integrity and success and strength. And if I'm illegal, then you should be illegal as well.
--CBSNews.com, "Johnny Weir: If I'm arrested in Russia, so be it," video, August 9, 2013
(on Russia's anti-gay laws)

Since Karen Walker and Jack McFarland gave women the impression that a gay best friend is the new black, gay men all over the world have learned that the best way to be with a woman in a plutonic relationship is to accept her crazy while she accepts yours. 
--fcnp.com, "Johnny’s World: Girl Games" May 23, 2013 

Blogger's note: I thought "plutonic" was merely a typo for "platonic"; however, the Urban Dictionary indicates that it used by some to mean "platonic."

Never having lived in a closet myself, I owe a lot of my first-hand knowledge on the subject to my husband, who lived “in” for the greater part of 28 years. I have learned that you live in constant fear that someone will find out. You hide everything about your personal life from everyone, even those who are closest to you--and sometimes they’re your girlfriend. The greatest liberation could be coming out, but it is also viewed as the greatest tragedy. Once you’re out, there’s no going back in. 
--fcnp.com, "Johnny’s World: Out," May 2, 2013 

When you merge your life with someone else’s, there are all sorts of things you must learn and change--either about yourself or the one who is lucky enough to have you. You have to befriend their friends. You have to learn what toilet paper they like. You have to learn about their mood swings, family history, and even feign sharing their interests, like in gadgets or Birkin bags.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny’s World: Привет: Part 1," April 11, 2013

[Kathy Griffin: Have you ever been in an open relationship?]

No, I'm an old-fashioned kind of girl, and I like somebody to be wed to me, always and forever, and only gets this. [sweeps hand in front of himself]
--Bravo, Kathy, Season 2, February 28, 2013

Does God really sit on Christian Mingle and match people? These radio commercials kill me. Doesn't He have better things to take care of?
--Twitter, April 5, 2013

[Y]ou should always respect those around you and their role of importance in your life. It may not always be easy to realize the assets you’re surrounded by, even if at first they may seem a negative influence, but the one constant is that they help you to become what you are on a daily basis.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: The Team," February 14, 2013

It’s a very odd circumstance to find yourself in, when the world is all rainbows and sparrows and you are almost entirely alone.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: Separate Togetherness," February 8, 2013
(on the difficulty of maintaining loving relationships as an Olympic athlete)

I lived a life devoid of loving relationships with family or friends despite being loved by many around the world, just for doing something I love. 
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: Separate Togetherness," February 8, 2013

Married life is bliss for some and hell for others, but something so special about marriage and relationships is the ability to ultimately learn about one’s self.
--fcnp.com, "Johnny's World: Separate Togetherness," February 8, 2013 

[One thing or more you absolutely can't live without?]

Being loved and loving someone else. And if I were to get a little less serious, my cell phone, my sunglasses and espresso.
--figureskatersonline.com/johnnyweir, "Johnny Weir...the official site," Q & A, March 2005

Blogger's note: punctuation and spelling in original question edited.