I want an Emmy really badly. I don't care what I have to do for it. I'll put scorpions in my pants at this point.
--Tara and Johnny podcast, Ep. 49: "Him Talk Slowly," October 5, 2017

You know, the ACM awards are sparklier than me. I take umbrage. Also, I need to go there. #MothtotheFlame
--Twitter, April 2, 2017
 (on the Academy of Country Music awards show)

I have full milkmaid braid that just exists on my head...
--YouTube.com, 7th Annual Shorty Awards, red carpet interview by Sarah Evans, awards April 20, 2015, interview video published April 21, 2015
(on his hair, hidden under red, sparkly bunny ears)

We want to rule the world. We want to be Beyonce and Jay Z. Wait for our album. We want Emmys, we want Grammys, we want Oscars for our acting ability. Best documentary short. We're going to walk on the moon.
--bigstory.ap.org, "Lipinski, Weir shine as a top pair at skating championships" by Dan Gelston, January 20, 2017
(on Johnny's future career plans with Tara Lipinski)

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/entertainment/article127795589.html#storylink=cpykansascity.com

So...Kit Harington and Andy Samberg sharing a mic is the most pleasurable thing I've seen on TV since Karen Walker went to a dry wedding.

--Twitter, September 18. 2016
(Comparing actors Harington and Samberg's appearance as co-presenters at the 2016 Emmy Awards with Megan Mullally's character in the TV show Will and Grace.)

[Sarah Evans: Well, good luck tonight! I hope you have a blast, and, um…]

I hope I fall. I hope I trip and fall. But thank you.

[Sarah Evans: Jennifer Lawrence-style? Like graceful?]

I feel like less graceful.

[Sarah Evans: Like full-on...]

Like Ass. Up.

[Sarah Evans: Ooooo! Hashtag!]

Hashtag “ass up.”
--YouTube.com, 7th Annual Shorty Awards, red carpet interview by Sarah Evans, awards April 20, 2015, interview video published April 21, 2015
(on his presenting at the awards show)

I have a very basic knowledge of the computers and the fax machines and emojis and things, so…I’m just sort of here because I wanted to wear my outfit.
--YouTube.com, 7th Annual Shorty Awards, red carpet interview by Sarah Evans, awards April 20, 2015, interview video published April 21, 2015
(on why he was a presenter at the Shorty Awards, which honors the best content in social media.)

I'm presenting in three categories tonight. You know, as an NBC broadcaster and Olympic figure skater, I am really adept at presenting awards to things I don't really understand.
--YouTube.com, 7th Annual Shorty Awards, red carpet interview by Sarah Evans, awards April 20, 2015, interview video published April 21, 2015

Blogger's note: The Shorty Awards honor the best content in social media.

The ACM Awards is so major. The voices, the hair, the accents...I feel like, men in tight pants, ladies in major hairspray...my kinda show.
--Twitter, April 19, 2015 
(on the Academy of Country Music Awards)

So I’m super-excited to be here, and I don’t really understand a fax machine, so what all of you people do really, really mystifies me. But anyway, because I have three envelopes here, that means I have three awards, I’m going to get right to it. Also I have reservations for dinner.
--7th Annual Shorty Awards, April 20, 2015, as presenter

Blogger's note: The annual Shorty Awards honor the best in social media.

[Nick McCarvel: [Terry Gannon] won what coveted sports prize in 1983?]

Shortest Shorts, Hottest Man 1983.
--icenetwork.com, "How Much Does Johnny Weir Know About Johnny Weir?" video, Bank of America Special Olympics Showcase at Bryant Park, February 24, 2015
(correct answer to the question was: 1983 NCAA basketball title)

It was a little bit like wearing a cotton-ball with like a seaweed sushi wrap around it.
--NBC, A Toast to 2014!, December 31, 2014
(on Jennifer Lawrence's poofy white, black band cinched, 2014 Golden Globe Awards gown)

Emma Watson did not impress me. I felt like she dressed up to go to school or to clap erasers or do something that was anything but the Oscars.
--NBC, Today show, "Johnny Weir, Tara Lipinski police Oscar fashion," March 3, 2014

[Q: Ellen’s Oscar selfie was a huge deal. Who would be in your perfect selfie?]

Johnny and Tara Lipinski: Bradley Cooper!

[Tara: Ellen]

Prince George

[Tara: And the little princess that’s coming!]

Elsa?

[Tara: No, but yes, Elsa.]

Beyoncé, certainly

[Tara: If we have Beyoncé then we have to have Jay Z]

I want Justin Timberlake to stand directly behind me.

[Tara: OK, OK]

Christina Aguilera…

[Tara: Henry VIII]

Marie Antoinette--and her pompadour…and a Hershey bar
--today.com, "Johnny Weir, Tara Lipinski review 2014 (and try to predict what kind of king George will be)" by Lauren Sullivan, December 18, 2014

Bogger's note: Elsa is the princess/snow queen in the Disney movie Frozen.

To Stephanie Jallen, Best Female Paralympic Athlete:

Just eat cereal out of it.
--NBCSN, Best of U.S. Award Show, broadcast April 7, 2014, live taping April 2, 2014
(what Jallen should do with her large crystal trophy)

To Kori Ade, skating coach and winner of the USG "Building Dreams Award," and figure skater Jason Brown:

Thank you both for bringing River Dance back to America.
--NBCSN, Best of U.S. Award Show, broadcast April 7, 2014, live taping April 2, 2014
(Jason Brown's 2013-14 free skate was to music from River Dance)

All of them are funny.
--NBCSN, Best of U.S. Award Show, broadcast April 7, 2014, live taping April 2, 2014
(Rejected Awards Show Categories: "Funniest Short-Track Wipeout")

I feel like it's kitten sumo Chardonnay glitter ball.
--NBCSN, Best of U.S. Award Show, broadcast April 7, 2014, live taping April 2, 2014
(The Rejected Awards Show Categories: "Most Outrageous Name For A Slopestyle Trick")

To Tara Lipinski:
Are you going to contour your décollage?

[Tara: What?]

Are you going to shade in around your pretty, pretty princesses? Get them out there....I'm just trying to get you laid.
--vanityfair.com, "Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski Debut Their Color-Coordinated Oscars Outfits, Talk That S.N.L. Skit" by Julie Millier

I feel like it's an aggressive boob.

[Louise Roe: That one or that one?]

I think they're both kind of angry.
--NBC, Access Hollywood, March 3, 2014
(on Jada Pinkett Smith's Oscar gown)